1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,880 Hi, Mummy! Hello, darling. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,480 Kids! I'm home! 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:06,880 Hi. Hi, Mum. 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,080 Do I get a hug? 5 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,240 So... 6 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,600 how was the North? 7 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,560 It was Birmingham. Oh, dear. 8 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,280 And it was... Is it weird to describe a trade show as magical? 9 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,360 Yes. 10 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,920 It's just such an exciting time. 11 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,320 Interiors are really expanding at the moment. 12 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,040 That feels like a problem for walls. 13 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,320 And get this, Mummy, I'm now a brand ambassador! 14 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,360 So this guy who designs these gorgeous sofas 15 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,200 took business cards from a few elite tastemakers and he selected... 16 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,280 What, like a prize draw? 17 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,920 No, like a talent pool. 18 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,840 And I was chosen to receive this gorgeous complimentary so... 19 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,040 You won a sofa? 20 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,840 No. I networked a sofa! To boost on my socials. 21 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,120 It's quid quo pro! Anyway. 22 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,120 How were the kids? Good as gold. 23 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,640 Though Manus kept calling me, "Brah." 24 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,880 Is he a sexist now? 25 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,600 No. It's short for brother, Mother. 26 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,720 "Brother-Mother"? 27 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,600 It's... It's just what the kids say now. 28 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,400 Anyway, I must dash. 29 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,160 I'm meeting a man for "coffee." 30 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,280 Oh! 31 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,880 I've signed up to this very exclusive dating app and, honestly, 32 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,320 I can't move for hot totty. 33 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,800 Well, enjoy your "coffee." 34 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,040 It's not really coffee, darling. 35 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,480 Yes, I know, Mummy. 36 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,640 Kids! Gan-Gan's going now! 37 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,800 Oh! Such a magical age. 38 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,640 Morning. Morning. 39 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,240 Oh, Mal. I need a hand... 40 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,440 Taxi! Well, I'm off to... Quick as you can! 41 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,600 HE SIGHS Don't even argue. 42 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,240 So when's the new one coming? 43 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,520 Well, not for a few days, 44 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,280 but I need to vacuum and touch up some scuffs. 45 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,960 Let's get the cushions off first. 46 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,760 OK. 47 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,280 What's this slimy... 48 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,040 ARGH! Ergh! 49 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,600 AMANDA RETCHES Urgh! 50 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,280 Oh, my God! 51 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:50,840 Is that a condom?! 52 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,640 Urgh! I touched my face! Oh, my God! 53 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,920 Urgh! 54 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,000 Oh, not with the hairbrush! HE LAUGHS 55 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,640 That was in your sofa! So gross! 56 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,240 Amanda, that's foul. 57 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,280 Ugh! Whose is that?! 58 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,280 Could it be yours? No, Mal. 59 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,480 I've been V-Cel since Johannes. 60 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,680 Voluntary celibate. Just focusing on me and my needs. 61 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,040 All right, well, it must be someone's. 62 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,360 No shit, Shergar. 63 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,080 But who else in this house is sexually active? 64 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,960 Yeah, I know, Darius, but I really want to get a ticket. 65 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,880 ON PHONE: OK, I could ask Stanley to be fair. 66 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,280 Everything can be bought online, there's got to be a website. 67 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,720 I've checked on the website. 68 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,640 We can look somewhere else. I can't wait to see you. 69 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,680 All right, we either need to move this or put it down. 70 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,640 I am going to have to speak to her, aren't I? 71 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,960 And get Anne to speak to Darius. 72 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,280 Yeah. 73 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,680 These things require a two-pronged approach. 74 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,200 It's usually more of a one-pronged approach. 75 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,040 Mal! This is serious. 76 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,280 Well, they're 16 now. I think it's quite normal. 77 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,480 So have you had the chat with Ned then? 78 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,440 Yeah, of course. Me and JJ divvied it up. 79 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,640 I was communications with the opposite sex 80 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,480 and JJ was contraceptives. 81 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,440 Basically I was tactics and JJ was the kit man. 82 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,000 Right. There you go. OK. 83 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,800 What time they coming to collect it? 84 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,280 Who? 85 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,080 I don't know, the council or whoever you booked it with. 86 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,120 No-one. 87 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,080 Mal, this is a very expensive sofa. Someone will take it. 88 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,720 You can't just leave it in the street. 89 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,560 Why don't you stick it on Marketplace? 90 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,080 Mal, I don't do Facebook cos of my moral objections to Meta. 91 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,040 It's a good job they don't own Instagram, innit? 92 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,880 God, isn't it? 93 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,520 Yes, you just see it, yeah. 94 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,560 Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it's very nice, yes. Yeah. 95 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:32,640 And you won that? 96 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,920 No, I networked it, Anne, cos of my profile. 97 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,400 Oh, right. And you just left the old one out on the pavement? 98 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,440 Its second life is pending, yeah. 99 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,000 Sure. If I dump a sofa, it's fly-tipping, 100 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,880 and if you do it, you're part of the circular economy. 101 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,120 Well, I'm giving someone local the chance to own a piece 102 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,560 of Chiswick-quality furniture. It's actually very community-minded. 103 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,200 Mmm. Unless, you want it for your homeless charity? 104 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,080 Well, it's a food bank and you can't eat a sofa, 105 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,280 so...no. 106 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,520 Stick it in the van, if you want? Take it down the tip. 107 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,400 That sofa has survived one marriage and two toddlers, Mal, 108 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,640 I think it deserves a better fate than the tip. 109 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,320 All right. Honestly! 110 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,000 It'll get snapped up any moment. You'll see. 111 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,240 Bye! 112 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,520 That was Della. She's on her last leg. 113 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,640 She's dying?! 114 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,680 No, of her journey. From Hawaii. 115 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,360 We've got her back for the weekend. Well, some of it anyway. 116 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,360 Aw! So nice! Yeah, can't wait! 117 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,760 We'll have a stroll by the river, spot of lunch. 118 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,400 I found this ace gastro pub that's dog friendly. Thank you, ChatGPT. 119 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,560 What's Chatty Petey? 120 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,440 No, it's Chat G-P-T, Anne. 121 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,640 It's AI. 122 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,760 Oh. 123 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,000 Yes, yes, that. 124 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,200 Yeah, I think the kids put it on my phone but I don't really trust it. 125 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,720 Um, I mean, Chris always laughs at me 126 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,920 for saying please and thank you to Alexa, 127 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,960 but, um, at least when the computers take over, they'll have me down 128 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,320 as one of the good humans and they might spare me. 129 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,240 From the first cull at least. 130 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,160 I...mainly just ask it about pubs. 131 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,920 But you can ask it about anything. 132 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,080 Oh. It's dead good for advice. 133 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,000 Felicity! Off the pitch! 134 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,200 Oh, Mummy! 135 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,880 Sorry I'm late. 136 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,320 I met someone for "coffee". 137 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,160 You're actually starting to put me off coffee. 138 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,560 Don't be a prude. 139 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,320 You should get on this app, darling. 140 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,840 No, Mummy! 141 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,280 No, thank you. No, it's a rich seam of solvent men. 142 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,120 There's loads of them. Look! What do you think of him? 143 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:22,200 Hmm. Maybe a touch old, but, er, yeah, why not? Yeah, I'm game. 144 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,720 No, he's the one I'm seeing. 145 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,240 That's coffee man? 146 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,120 Five shots last night. 147 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,360 And a quick AeroPress this morning. 148 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,400 Anne? 149 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,160 Love's young dream. 150 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,760 Really takes me back, y'know? 151 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,440 Me and Chris once kissed so hard when we were courting, 152 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,240 that I developed a pressure sore on my gum. 153 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,200 Marvellous. I'm glad I got you alone actually, Anne. 154 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,320 I found an unwrapped condom in the house yesterday, 155 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,480 and, well, it's not mine. 156 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,800 Obviously. 157 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,640 Yes, thank you, Anne. My point is, if it's not mine... 158 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,480 Oh, don't be ridiculous! They're only kids. 159 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,880 Can you imagine getting down and dirty at 16? 160 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,160 Oh, God, they're at it, aren't they?! 161 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,360 I don't know, Anne, but I think we need to talk to them, 162 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,320 make sure they're armed with all the facts. 163 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,360 Jesus. Chris is currently away in Vancouver, Canada. 164 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,360 Right. This would have to happen when he's away in Vancouver, Canada. 165 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,920 I know where Vancouver is, Anne. 166 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,960 Yes. Yeah, I will talk to him. OK, yes. 167 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,360 OK, that's enough Darius! C'mon! 168 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,680 Spaghetti Hoops for tea. 169 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,080 My poor sofa. 170 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,240 Who's done this? 171 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,720 You see? 172 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,040 I told you. You've opened the floodgates now. 173 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,920 People see an abandoned settee in the street, 174 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,240 they think it's a dumping ground. 175 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,760 Oh, you've finally been evicted? 176 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,080 Trying to get rid of this old thing. 177 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,880 He means the sofa... They're nice! 178 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,040 Thanks. Yeah, Della's back tonight, so I'm making an effort. 179 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,160 Flowers... Ohh! ..a nice Merlot, 180 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,400 new razor... Hmm! 181 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,480 ..and some plughole unblocker because, y'know, it's been a while. 182 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,960 Sounds lovely. 183 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,640 I mean having Della back, not your... 184 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,840 Although I'm sure... 185 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,080 Do you know what? This is actually a decent settee. 186 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,640 Yes, thank you! Yes, it is. 187 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,560 Yes! See?! People like it. 188 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,120 Oh, no! Bobby! No, no! 189 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,880 Bad dog! Bad dog! Oh, God, Fi! Can you tell him to stop? 190 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,560 That's horrid! I'm so sorry, Amanda. Bad dog! 191 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,360 Well, no-one's going to want it now, are they? 192 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,160 Excuse me? Is...is that going begging? 193 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,880 Yes. 194 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,360 Yes, it is. Free to a good home. 195 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,480 Amazing. 196 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,200 Yeah. 197 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,360 Ha! Thank you. 198 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,800 Oh, dear! 199 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,480 God, I'm exhausted! ..Not an airport game. 200 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,280 Oh, it's so good to be home! 201 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,520 DOG BARKS 202 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,080 Whoa! What the... 203 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,640 Oh! 204 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,520 That's a much bigger dog in real life! 205 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,120 Ah! He's licking my skin! 206 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,000 Oh, he loves his other mummy! 207 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,960 OK, right, cough up. Oh. We had a deal. 208 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,640 Here you go, mate. Oh, come on, it's not 1985. 209 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,120 Bloody 'ell. 210 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,440 Thank you. OK. Right, I'll see you guys later then, yeah? 211 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,240 Where are you going? To buy drugs. 212 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,720 Cinema. 213 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,080 Oh! 214 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,880 Out. All evening. 215 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,240 At the cinema. 216 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,760 Ohhh. 217 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,480 Ohhh! 218 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,080 Oh, I knew there was a reason to fly 7,000 miles. 219 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,480 DOG BARKS 220 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,760 Oh! So sorry! 221 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,400 I've been letting him sleep on the bed while you were away. 222 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,920 Oh, just kick him out and shut the door. 223 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,760 No, cos if I do that, he'll scratch at it all night. 224 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,040 Let me just... 225 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,120 Let me get him settled downstairs and I'll be right back. 226 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,360 OK. Yeah. 227 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,680 KNOCKING ON DOOR 228 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:48,080 Georgie, sweetheart, could we have a little chat? 229 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,320 It's just about you and Darius... 230 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,720 Oh. 231 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,360 Georgie? 232 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,000 CHATTERING IN DISTANCE 233 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,560 I was like 12... 234 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,720 THEY LAUGH 235 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,160 Oh, my God. 236 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,520 Um, excuse me! 237 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,000 Does this look like a youth club? 238 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,160 A bit. Yeah. Sort of. 239 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,600 Could you just move along, please? 240 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,680 Is she serious? 241 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,440 I hope you haven't scuffed my sofa! Go on, shoo! 242 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,440 Not you, Georgie. 243 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,280 Now, then. Right. Where were we? 244 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,360 SHE SNORES 245 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,760 Right. Georgie. 246 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,840 Good. 247 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,120 I think we might need to have a little chat. Oh, God. 248 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,080 Gan-Gan's dead. No. Why would you think... 249 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,200 Then, why are you being weird? 250 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,320 I'm not being weird. Yes, you are. Is Manus adopted? 251 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,800 No. Wha... 252 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,520 Nothing... W-Why Manus? 253 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,240 Oh, my God, I'm adopted?! 254 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,000 No. No-one's adopted. 255 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,560 Or dead. 256 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,760 It's more of a personal, um... 257 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,520 No, intimate... 258 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,720 This is now officially the weirdest moment of my entire life. 259 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,200 No, it isn't! Stop saying that. 260 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,400 I'm actually being really cool about this. 261 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,600 About what?! 262 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,040 I would tell you, sweetheart, if you gave me half a chance... 263 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,200 Mum! 264 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,080 I found your condom in the sofa! 265 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,560 OK. 266 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,480 That isn't how I wanted to say that. 267 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,640 Um, I'm not angry, OK? 268 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,720 I think it's absolutely fantastic that you're using protection... Mum. 269 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,520 Yeah. I'm not having sex. 270 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,080 Are you sure? 271 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,320 Course I'm sure! 272 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,000 Yes. OK, yeah. 273 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,280 And you would tell me if you were? 274 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,200 Oh, my God. Why are you being so weird?! 275 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,280 Georgie! 276 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,800 Yes, fine! Whatever. Can we just leave it now, please?! 277 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,080 Ugh! 278 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,520 That was so weird. 279 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,680 It wasn't weird. 280 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,200 Yes, it was. 281 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,920 DOOR SLAMS 282 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,960 But if it wasn't your condom then... 283 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,480 PHONE DINGS, VIBRATES 284 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,600 Mummy. 285 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,360 WHISPERS: Are you awake, ChatGPT? 286 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,560 CHATGPT: Yes, I'm here and ready to help. 287 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,360 OK. Good. 288 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,720 Um... 289 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,440 Hi, it's me, Anne. First time user, 290 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,400 and I'd just like to know the best way 291 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:44,200 to talk to my teenage son about sex, please? 292 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,440 Great question. 293 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,440 Don't make the talk into a major event. 294 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,600 Instead, maybe try smaller, more open conversations. 295 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,480 Right. Yes, um... 296 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,920 ..and where would be the best place for these conversations 297 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,440 to take place? 298 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,720 Why not have the conversation whilst driving? 299 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,520 It can feel more organic, and avoids eye contact, 300 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,640 making it easier to discuss intimate topics. 301 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,840 Yes. Makes sense. 302 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,880 Yeah. 303 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,920 Good. That's a weight off my mind. 304 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:21,880 Are you still there? 305 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,080 Yes, Anne. 306 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,880 Thank you, ChatGPT. 307 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,640 I hope you sleep well, Anne. 308 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,560 I will. 309 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,720 Goodnight. 310 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,120 Get your 40 winks. 311 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,840 Yes. 312 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:33,960 Night. 313 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,080 ChatGPT, what's it like in Vancouver, Canada? 314 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,240 That's a great question, Anne. 315 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,640 DOORBELL RINGS 316 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,560 Apology, please. 317 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,720 Sorry, Amanda. 318 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,160 No, you say, "What for?" 319 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,480 Well, experience has taught me it's easier just to say it. 320 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,600 Well, you were wrong. 321 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,800 Someone has taken that cherished sofa and given it a lovely new home. 322 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,520 Oh. 323 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,320 All right. Still leaves half of Steptoe's front room, but, um... 324 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,000 Don't be such a sour puss. 325 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,200 Is this your shit? 326 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,320 No. 327 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,640 Disgusting, isn't it? 328 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,560 Really brings down the area. 329 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,760 Honestly, some people. 330 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,400 SHE SIGHS 331 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,880 Oh, hold the door, please! 332 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,240 Ah. Mummy. 333 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,200 Just picking up my charger. 334 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,840 Anything else you didn't pick up? 335 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,880 Um, hmm, well, maybe my hairbrush? 336 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,160 No, Mummy. 337 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,360 I mean, did you and coffee man have sex on my sofa the other night? 338 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,680 Well, the kids were asleep, so we thought, why not? 339 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,440 Cos it's my sofa! 340 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,920 Well, we didn't think you'd find out. 341 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,320 How did you find out? 342 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,920 Because I found your condom! 343 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,160 No, you didn't. 344 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,760 Mummy, I can assure you, I... 345 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,360 I don't use condoms. 346 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,400 What?! Oh, my God! Mummy, you should be using condoms. 347 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,360 This is about your sexual health. 348 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,520 Just cos you're too old to get pregnant, there's still... 349 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,560 I'm not too old to get pregnant! YOU'RE too old to get pregnant! 350 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,680 No, I am not! 351 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,320 How dare... Listen, that is not the issue! 352 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,080 The issue is, Mummy, you're putting your health at risk. 353 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,000 You could catch an STI. 354 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,760 Oh, look, I don't have to listen to this. 355 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,840 I'm not going to take sex advice from my own daughter! 356 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,040 Honestly! 357 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,360 I was having sex before you were even born! 358 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,560 Of course you were! That's how it works! 359 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,040 DOOR SLAMS 360 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,040 So, er... 361 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,480 How is everything? With Georgie. 362 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,640 Or just, er, in general? 363 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,800 With Georgie. 364 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,440 Hmm? Yeah, fine. 365 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,760 Right. OK. Yes. 366 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,440 CAR HORN BEEPS 367 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,600 Oh, God, did you see that there? 368 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,320 That BMW just tried to slide into the hatched area. 369 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,640 And I wasn't comfortable with letting him into my... 370 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,440 ..hatched area. 371 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,040 Um... And that's my right. 372 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,280 Because it's very important to respect the... 373 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,520 ..hatched area. 374 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,960 Yeah, Dad just pulls out. 375 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,320 Yeah, well, that method doesn't always work! 376 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,920 Oh, God. Here, would you look? 377 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,360 The back wiper is stuck there. 378 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,840 I'll just be... I'll be back in a second. 379 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,880 OK. 380 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,680 INAUDIBLE 381 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,880 OK. 382 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,240 OK. 383 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,840 So, everything going well with Georgie? 384 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,240 Yes, I said. 385 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:01,400 You know, that kind of reminds me of an experience that I had 386 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:05,280 that was quite similar to your own current situation, 387 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,080 which was when I first started dating your father. 388 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,280 Now, we both started to develop these urges, 389 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,520 um, all completely natural, of course, 390 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,200 but a very raw, almost, um, primal craving 391 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,720 to explore a more physical side of... 392 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,120 Jesus! 393 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,120 Darius! 394 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,880 Darius! 395 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,720 Rise and shine, sleepy head. 396 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,800 SHE GROANS 397 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,640 So, I thought that we could take Bobby for a walk along the canal 398 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,800 before football. 399 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,640 We might run into Stephen and Chris. Bobby loves Chris! 400 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,720 Though he's up in his bum a lot. 401 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,600 Please tell me Chris is a dog. 402 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:42,800 Yeah, a Mini Schnauze. 403 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,600 And Stephen is a Maltipoo. 404 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,480 What? He's always shitting? 405 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,560 No. He's a Maltese terrier crossed with a Poodle. 406 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,320 OK, so we have the Crufts option, 407 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,560 or - and hear me out here - 408 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,120 we forget about the dog and we lie in the bed 409 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,280 till even our teenager notices we're missing. 410 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,080 Thing is, if you forget about a big dog, 411 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,600 they tend to do things like crap in the house. 412 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,520 Hmm. Morten! 413 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,720 What? 414 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:08,800 Can you walk the dog? 415 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,080 No, he pulled me over outside of Vantablack the other day 416 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,360 and Jake Phillips saw, so I'm not doing it. You can. 417 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,400 What's Vantablack? Who's Jake Phillips? 418 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,720 How long have I been away?! 419 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:21,400 Bloody ages! Which is why we're having a nice romantic day together, 420 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,400 which starts with a walk along the canal and a coffee. 421 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:29,640 Fiona, I love you, but I literally travelled for ALL of yesterday, 422 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,520 and until that clock says, "PM", 423 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,080 me and this bed are a single organism. 424 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,320 Great. 425 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,520 I guess that's me walking Bobby then. 426 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,600 Grab me a latte! SHE CHUCKLES 427 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,360 It wasn't theirs. 428 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,160 The condom. You talked to Georgie? Yep. 429 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,640 Yeah, we had a real heart to heart. 430 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:53,960 Oh, thank goodness. 431 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,640 Darius ran a mile when I tried. 432 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,080 SHE CHUCKLES 433 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,320 An actual mile. 434 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,160 With a quite a bruised thigh. 435 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,320 Oh, er, flat white, whole milk, and an espresso, please. 436 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,360 I guess that's the difference with daughters, 437 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,240 you can just talk about these things. 438 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,600 Yeah, Georgie and I tell each other everything. 439 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:15,120 We're more like best friends. So, yeah, we talked. 440 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,480 And cried. 441 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,840 Then laughed. 442 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,360 And then just... 443 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,680 ..hugged it out. 444 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,360 And it wasn't weird at all. 445 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,480 Aww. 446 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,160 Yeah. And they're definitely not... 447 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,240 No, no. They've yet to enter that phase of their relationship. 448 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,920 Great. So I don't have to have the chat with-with Darius? 449 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,640 Of course you do, Anne! 450 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,840 They may not have done it yet, but it's only a matter of time. 451 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,520 PHONE BEEPS 452 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,520 Hi. 453 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,160 It's Anne again. 454 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,520 My sex chat with my son didn't exactly go very well. 455 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,160 What else could I try, please? 456 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,480 CHATGPT: Try looking for a natural moment to engage with your teen. 457 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,960 Like starting a conversation based on a TV show you've both seen, 458 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,360 or perhaps a book or a play. Sorry, what's the Danish? 459 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,440 The Danish are an ethnic group renowned for... 460 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,240 Oh, no, no, sorry. Not you. ..their high quality of life... 461 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,680 CHUCKLING, INDISTINCT CHATTER 462 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,360 SHE GROANS 463 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,560 Oh, thank you. 464 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,800 Are you OK, Mummy? 465 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,400 Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. 466 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,080 Just, you look a bit uncomfortable, downstairs. 467 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,440 Because you know unsafe sex leads to STIs. 468 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,520 It's not an STI! 469 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,840 OK. 470 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,960 And I'll thank you not to make my sexual health 471 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,240 the subject of baseless tittle-tattle! 472 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,560 If I need medical advice, I'll call a doctor. 473 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:39,960 Good. Please do. 474 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,720 And he would doubtless reassure me 475 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,480 that the only irritation I need to address 476 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,400 is 5'7" with blonde hair. 477 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,720 5'8". 478 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,160 So, whose rubber johnny was it then? 479 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,600 I don't know. 480 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,720 So, literally, a whodunnit. 481 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,120 Shag-atha Christie. 482 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,440 THEY LAUGH Yes, thank you, Fi. 483 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,680 It's not that funny, Mummy. 484 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,800 So, darling, who's next on the list? 485 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,000 SHE GROANS 486 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,040 KNOCKING ON DOOR 487 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,880 Yeah? 488 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,400 Hey, brah. 489 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,560 HE SIGHS 490 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,800 Sweetheart, let's put that away please. 491 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,480 So... 492 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,200 I was thinking maybe we could have a little chat about something. 493 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,680 What's happened? Is Gan-Gan dead? 494 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,800 No. Why would it be that? 495 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,480 She drinks a lot of gin. 496 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,520 Would you like me to speak to her about that? 497 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,400 It's OK. I'll just start serving her single measures. 498 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,440 Sorry, does she have you making... OK. 499 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,800 Sweetheart, there's something I need to ask you, and this is going 500 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,160 to sound ridiculous, but I just have to check, OK? 501 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,600 I found a condom and... 502 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,920 Oh, God. Oh, God! 503 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,000 Are you saying that it was... 504 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,440 I think I'm going to be sick. 505 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,240 It wasn't my fault! They made me do it! 506 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,400 Wait, what? They?! 507 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,760 Ben nicked it off his brother. 508 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,520 We just wanted to see what it looked like. 509 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,520 Mason blew it up. We were just messing around! 510 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,720 Oh, Manus! Thank God! 511 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,640 Yeah? Yes! That's OK! 512 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,160 That's just fine, my darling! 513 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,120 Oh! Mwah! My sweet boy! 514 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,840 Listen, it's completely natural to be curious 515 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,320 about these kind of things. 516 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,600 And, well... 517 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,080 ..good to have that little mystery solved. 518 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,040 Though maybe don't leave things like that lying around on the sofa. 519 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,520 I flushed it down the toilet. 520 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,920 DOORBELL CHIMES 521 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,440 Amanda Hughes? 522 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,480 Yes. What's this? 523 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,240 Fixed penalty notice. 524 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,360 For fly-tipping. 525 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:29,960 Oh, no, no. None of that's mine. 526 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,400 Yeah, yeah, that might not be, 527 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,840 but there's a sofa in the park that we believe is yours. 528 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,440 In the park? Yeah. 529 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,120 Probably local kids took it there, 530 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,560 or drug users. 531 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,800 But since you left it outside... 532 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,640 What makes you think it was me? 533 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,120 The doorbell cam. 534 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:45,200 From over the road. 535 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,400 Pretty conclusive, eh? 536 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,960 Did they report me? 537 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,720 Reports are anonymous. 538 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,320 Well, it's clearly their doorbell. 539 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,440 Reports are anonymous. 540 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:02,240 �400?! I can't afford �400! 541 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,720 Then I'd get it shifted pronto. 542 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,760 Cos it's going to be 200 quid more if we have to put it in the van. 543 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,920 Have a good day. HE CHUCKLES 544 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,520 All right, boss? 545 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,200 Yeah? All right. 546 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,960 Hop on it. 547 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,000 Hiya! In here. 548 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,800 What's going on? You've got your best clobber on. 549 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:31,640 I'm taking you for lunch at Miller and Fife, 550 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,440 for the best seafood of your life. 551 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,760 If you weren't married to me. 552 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,640 I've booked The Talbot. On the river. 553 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,160 Oh, we can go to the pub any day. What about Bobby? 554 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,840 Well, can't we get, whatshername, to pop over? 555 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,560 Y'know, the one with all the kids. 556 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,600 What, Anne? She won't know how to settle him. 557 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,080 Oh, come on! She's raised about a thousand children. 558 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,440 Look, it's not the same thing, OK? 559 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,080 OK, why are you being so pissy? 560 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,320 I'm not. Yeah, you are. 561 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,120 I've seen actual piss less pissy than you're being right now. 562 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,880 I just think that you need to consider the whole family 563 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,040 a bit more when you're back here. I mean, I'm sure it's different 564 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,800 when you're off on your cruise or whatever, but... 565 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,120 I am not off on a cruise! 566 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:06,760 I'm working my arse off FOR my family. 567 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,920 So you'll have to forgive me if I want to do something more 568 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:14,480 with my one day off than spending it at the Caxton with a pie and a pint! 569 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,400 It's called The Talbot and it serves high-end Thai and doggy ice cream, 570 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,440 which Bobby and I are very much looking forward to. 571 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,480 Come on, Bobby! 572 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,840 DOG WHINES 573 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,640 Bobby, come! 574 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,400 DOG GROANS 575 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,240 Fine! 576 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:32,480 This is your fault. 577 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:35,760 DOOR OPENS 578 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:38,920 Darius? 579 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,440 All right? 580 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,200 Yes! Hi. 581 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,480 Er, I was just about to watch series one 582 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,840 of Emmy award-winning Netflix show Sex Education. 583 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,080 It's really good. 584 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,560 Would you like to watch it with... DOOR SLAMS 585 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,080 ChatGPT... 586 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,840 ..am I good mother? 587 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,440 CHAT GPT: Just asking this question shows you care deeply 588 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,080 about your role as a mother. 589 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,960 Good mothers are not perfect, but you are doing a great job. 590 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,600 Thanks, ChatGPT. 591 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,160 AMANDA GRUNTS 592 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,960 Need a hand? 593 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,440 No, thank you, Mal. 594 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,280 Only I've got the van just parked there, so... 595 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,080 I'm fine, thank you, Mal. 596 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,200 Where are you taking it? I don't know. 597 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,920 I just don't get it, Mal. It is a good sofa. 598 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,840 I really thought someone would take it. 599 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,920 Maybe this is its time, yeah? 600 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,160 SHE SIGHS 601 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,280 Come on. I'll take you to the tip. 602 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,480 Thanks, Mal. 603 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,360 I'll get this end. 604 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,360 Oh. Hang on. What's this? 605 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,240 This condom expired six years ago. 606 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,880 SHE GROANS So? 607 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,760 So either someone's using very out-of-date condoms or... 608 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,960 What? 609 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,320 Are you sure you've never had sex on this sofa? 610 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,480 Yes! 611 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,120 I have never had sex on this sofa! 612 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,360 I mean, apart from the one time... 613 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,440 ..my ex-husband and I... 614 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,000 It's Johnny's johnny. 615 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,920 We had break-up sex in the living room 616 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,440 the day we signed our divorce. HE LAUGHS 617 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,880 Come on. 618 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,440 SHE GROANS 619 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,000 HE CHUCKLES 620 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,480 You've been sitting on your ex-husband's condom for six years. 621 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,240 Oh, God! 622 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,080 HE LAUGHS 623 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,480 Can you not laugh? This is very triggering. 624 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,760 Guys? 625 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,640 I love you. I love you. 626 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,920 I love you, Mums. 627 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,080 Love you, too. 628 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,800 Love you, Morts. 629 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,600 I love you, Bobby. 630 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,320 I love you, Bobby. 631 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,440 DELLA SIGHS 632 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,120 I love you, Bobby. 633 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,560 LOUD TOOT 634 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,680 Oh, Bobby! 635 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,880 God! Urgh! Oh, Mum! FI LAUGHS 636 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,080 Oh, what are you feeding it? 637 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,480 Darius? 638 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,440 It's OK. I give up. 639 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,240 This whole sex chat business, it's a bloody minefield. 640 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,520 I was just trying to find the right way to say... 641 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,920 make sure you both want it, use protection and no means no. 642 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,800 But I don't know how a mam's supposed to say that 643 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,080 to her 16-year-old son. 644 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,000 I mean, you just sorta did. 645 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,440 And don't worry, yeah? 646 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,680 Like, believe it or not, I can be responsible. 647 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,040 I'm not going to be doing a rusty trombone in the Asda car park. 648 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,520 All right? OK. 649 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,160 ChatGPT, what's a rusty trombone? 650 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,280 CHATGPT: A rusty trombone is a sex act 651 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,960 where a man stands with his legs apart while his... 652 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,400 This is the sofa I deserve. 653 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,040 I think it's a sofa for a bigger house. 654 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,840 That's the plan, sweetie. That's the plan. 655 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,320 Yeah, I'm here. Let's team up and kill Jacob, yeah? 656 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,720 DOORBELL RINGS 657 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,480 Oh, Manus, could you get that before you murder your friend? 658 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,760 FELICITY: Uh! I had to get the Overground. 659 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,040 Hi, Gan-Gan. Mummy! 660 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,120 Hello, darlings. 661 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:04,400 Look at the sofa. No? 662 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,760 Just a minute while I wash it off my hands. Mum. 663 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,320 I was thinking... Yes, sweetheart? 664 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,000 ..about what you said earlier. 665 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,560 Me and Darius. Darius and I, yes? 666 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:13,920 Me and Darius. 667 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,120 And while we're not ready yet, 668 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,680 I was thinking, maybe I should get some... 669 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,800 ..protection, just in case. 670 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,840 I think that's a very good thought. 671 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,640 I'll pick you up some condoms. 672 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,560 Thanks, Mum. 673 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,960 And he's not allergic to latex or anything? 674 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:35,440 Oh, my God! Why are you so weird?! 675 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,000 I'm not weird! 676 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,920 Well, you no longer need worry about my downstairs. 677 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,720 I've just been to my lovely lady in Harley Street... Mm? 678 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,760 ..and, just as I thought, it is not a sexually transmitted infection. 679 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,160 Right. It is just fluid around the hip joint, 680 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,640 which is perfectly normal for a healthy woman at my time of life. 681 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,360 Ah... 682 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,840 So, then, just a simple case of old age. 683 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,920 Don't you dare! 684 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,320 Listen, if anyone asks, just say I've got the clap. 685 00:29:04,370 --> 00:29:08,920 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0